I rarely go to the gym. And by rarely i mean that back in 2004 I left the house with the full intention of getting my sweat on. But then i pulled a muscle lifting the handle of my car door, so that was that.
However, the other night i went. And i have to point out something thats really annoying to me. I mean it chaps my hide. Its when theres a group of dudes in there, and theyre all together and following each other around and tying up the machines i’d like to use sometime this decade. I mean come on, guys! Why the large group?? Emotional support? To hold other each others handbag?
And then they want to make it social hour and theyre all chattering and laughing to each other all loud. And THEN its in a language I dont understand! Which makes me paranoid like theyre talking about me! Which makes me take my towel, roll it up nice and tight, and then just start snapping fools! And THEN i wake up the next morning, butt naked with pink welts on my body, tied upside down to an almond tree in some desolate Shafter orchard, staring down the barrel of some farmers shotgun with his raggedy dog an inch from my face snarling at me.
And thats why I rarely go to the gym.